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不想養出媽寶男,家長應少替孩子做決定,尤其4個成長關鍵期
2020-01-05 22:13  www.serii.cn

小明在家里是一個很受寵的孩子。從小明很小的時候,媽媽就給小明安排了獨立的臥室。但是小明還小,他也很怕黑,家長也非常理解,所以媽媽總是在小明入睡前陪小明在臥室,給小明講睡前故事。

Xiao Ming is a very popular child at home. When Xiao Ming was very young, his mother arranged a separate bedroom for Xiao Ming. But Xiao Ming is still small, he is also very afraid of the dark, parents also understand very well, so mother always in Xiao Ming sleep with Xiao Ming in the bedroom, tell Xiao Ming a bedtime story.

久而久之,小明也就養成了睡前聽故事的這種習慣。但是當小明長大以后還是會纏著媽媽聽故事。直到小明13歲的時候還是會要求媽媽每天給小明講睡前故事。

Over time, Xiaoming also formed the habit of listening to stories before bedtime. But when Xiaoming grows up, he still pesters his mother to listen to the story. Until Xiaoming 13 years old will still ask his mother to tell Xiaoming bedtime story every day.

家里人本來想的是孩子小時候害怕,所以說可以多陪陪孩子,給孩子講睡前故事。但是孩子長大以后家長就慢慢的不這么想了。

The family originally thought is the child childhood fear, therefore may accompany the child more, tells the child the bedtime story. But when the child grows up, the parents slowly don't think so.

他們覺得這時候再給孩子講故事就會助長孩子的不良習慣,所以在孩子13歲的時候不顧孩子的反對毅然決然的結束了給孩子講故事,但是孩子哪能一下受得了這個呀。

They feel that telling stories to their children at this time will help their children's bad habits, so at the age of 13, regardless of the child's opposition resolutely ended to tell the story to the child, but the child cannot bear this.

孩子就每天纏著爸爸媽媽,每天哭鬧,這時候家長才意識到自己的睡前小故事。給孩子帶來了多么嚴重的后果。所以有時候我們需要退出孩子的一些關鍵期。

Every day the child haunts his parents and cries every day, when the parents realize their little bedtime story. What serious consequences for the child. So sometimes we need to quit some of our kids'critical periods.

故事中的小明就是因為家長沒有及時退出孩子的臥室。從而讓孩子養成不良的習慣。孩子小時候還小,我們都可以理解,但是當孩子五歲的時候就應該培養孩子獨自睡覺的習慣。

Xiao Ming in the story is because the parents did not withdraw from the child's bedroom in time. so that children develop bad habits. When a child is young, we can all understand, but when a child is five, he should cultivate the habit of sleeping alone.

怕黑家長可以理解,可以陪孩子一段時間,但是等孩子適應了以后家長就要立刻離開,因為我們要讓孩子做一個勇敢的孩子。可以帶孩子去一些科技館之類的地方,幫助孩子了解一下為什么關燈了,就會變黑,為什么睡覺的時候要關燈?這樣孩子就很容易理解,也就很容易接受一個人睡覺了。

Afraid of black parents can understand, can accompany the child for a while, but when the child adapts, the parent must leave immediately, because we want the child to be a brave child. Can take the child to some science and technology museum and so on, help the child to understand why turn off the light, will become dark, why to turn off the light when sleeping? So that the child is easy to understand, and it is easy to accept a person to sleep.

當孩子上小學以后就會有一些自己的小秘密,會有一些自己的小玩具,孩子會擺放在自己的房間,這時候家長就要學會尊重孩子,每個人都需要被尊重,孩子也不例外,我們不可以對孩子的每一件物品都刨根問底。

When children go to primary school there will be some of their own little secrets, there will be some of their own little toys, children will be placed in their own room, this time parents will learn to respect their children, everyone needs to be respected, children are no exception, we cannot ask every child's everything.

孩子有自己的私人空間,孩子會感覺自己被尊重,自己在家里也是一個獨立的個體。孩子也會養成尊重別人的好習慣。

Children have their own private space, children will feel that they are respected, and they are an independent individual at home. Children will also develop the good habit of respecting others.

孩子十五歲已經不小了可以獨自收拾家務,不用我們家長擔心。可能有些家長還是會擔心,覺得自己家孩子從來沒有獨自收拾過家務。但是我們要理解一下,孩子也在慢慢的長大,我們誰不是從孩子的時候過來的呢?我們也要自己收拾家務,那么孩子以后也要自己收拾家務。如果遇到我們不在家的時候孩子把家里弄得亂七八糟的怎么辦?

Children 15 years old can be alone to clean up the housework, do not worry about our parents. Some parents may still be worried that their children have never cleaned up their own household chores. But we have to understand that the children are also slowly growing up, which of us did not come from the childhood? We also have to clean up the housework ourselves, then the children also have to clean up the housework themselves later. What if the kids mess up the house when we're not at home?

所以我們要讓孩子獨自收拾家務,我們不要干預。我們相信每一個孩子都會自己收拾家務,每一個孩子都是很優秀的孩子。

So we have to let the children clean up the housework alone, and we don't interfere. We believe that every child will clean up their own housework, every child is a very good child.

當孩子18歲的時候可能會面臨高考填志愿。這時候家長就要退出孩子的個人選擇。因為孩子不管做了什么選擇,都是他自己的事情,如果我們干預的話,孩子以后覺得自己的學校不好,可能還會怨恨家長,可能會和家長產生隔閡。

When the child is 18, he may face a voluntary college entrance examination. Parents are then leaving their children's personal choices. Because no matter what choice the child made, it is his own thing, if we intervene, the child later feel that his school is not good, may also resent the parents, may be estranged from the parents.

所以說我們要退出孩子的個人選擇,這樣不僅是尊重孩子,也是讓孩子知道他長大了,他可以有自己的選擇,父母可以尊重他的選擇,父母不干預孩子的選擇,孩子會有成人意識,會有自我意識,會自己獨立去做一些大人的事情。

So we want to withdraw from the child's personal choice, this is not only to respect the child, but also to let the child know that he has grown up, he can have his own choice, parents can respect his choice, parents do not interfere with the child's choice, the child will have adult consciousness, will have self-consciousness, will do some adult things on their own.

這些你都記好了嗎?一定要在孩子適當的時候退出孩子的這些關鍵期,因為孩子在慢慢的長大,我們也不可能一直陪伴孩子,我們也要讓孩子獨自去處理一些事物,相信在我們的放手之下,孩子也可以做得更好,甚至比之前還要好。

Do you remember all this? Be sure to quit these critical periods when the child is in due course, because the child is growing up slowly, we cannot always accompany the child, we also have to let the child handle some things alone, believe that under our letting go, the child can also do better, even better than before.